My grandpa Fred always said, “everything in moderation.”  And as a kid, I did not know what that really meant. Now a year into the pursuit of regenerative living and three weeks into the first international leg of The Regenerative World Quest, his words ring in my ears daily, ever truer as the days pass. If you have been following my blogs you know my family and I have pulled out of the matrix and launched a three-year immersive research project to find, create and replicate a model for true regenerative living. 

We landed here on inauguration day. Yep got out of dodge just in time for the circus to begin (sigh…) again. We have toured three villages so far, made true friends with over 20 people from just as many countries and only got our car stuck once (that is pretty good for gringos in a rental without four-wheel drive). One theme that has come up time and time again is polar opposites and the importance of balance. 

I want to share five examples of this and am curious how this theme shows up in your life too?

Example one: when I tune into the news or social media feeds about what is happening in the U.S. I get a bit panicked, anxiety creeps in and the negative and bitter thoughts start to cycle. My work for almost two decades in sustainability, climate change, and social justice smashed to smithereens with one Executive Order after the next.  People I care about deeply are threatened and the public expression of hate deemed ok = One extreme. The other extreme is when I drop into what we are doing here; the villages we are researching, the people we are meeting, the purpose of the Quest, and the solutions that are alive and thriving right now as you read this… my heart breaks open with joy, hope and love. 

Example two: Costa Ricans (warning I am about to stereotype, sorry!) are the nicest, sweetest, kindest people. Every Tico and Tica we meet are more warmhearted and caring than the next. They love our boys and are so accepting of their crazy ways, more so than the typical Norte Americano. But what the heck is with the driving? In cars they don’t make eye contact, never let you in, and drive in the most dangerous, careless, and rude ways. It is like the car is the shield for kindness and suddenly, the people who were so sweet one moment turn into these aggressive drivers the next.

Example three: When we launched the quest and pulled out of the matrix, we did it to live a values aligned life and to be able to spend more time with our kids and each other. Now after a year of this, with 8 months on a farm, 2 months homeschooling and three weeks in Costa Rica. Iiiiiiiiit’s too much time together. We need space, we need help with our kids, we need a balance of family time, work time and time alone, 24/7 365 together is not healthy…at least for us! 

Example four: I have not been a big social media person. I seldom remember to take pictures on family trips or during special occasions. I have not really been bought into the notion of content creation or sharing my very personal life in these public ways. Yet as the Quest developed so many people from all over the world have asked us to share. “How can we follow along?”, “You should make a documentary!” “What are your social handles?” etc.…so we decided to create content for the Quest, not to promote us, but to elevate regenerative solutions all around the world to help create a new narrative for the future of our children. It’s very hard for me to be in the moment, deeply and authentically experiencing the RWQ AND then have to film, document, and post about it. Some of the best times rarely make it on camera. Then I get down on myself for not capturing it only to try to recreate it, but it never turns out as real or authentic. How do we find balance here? This has honestly been the hardest part of it all. Well, that and homeschooling! Ha!

Example five: Have you ever been in a crowded room only to feel lonely? Walked down a busy street only to feel isolated? Have you ever felt forced to participate socially when you’d rather stay home? In the intentional communities we have visited all of these have been true for people. All, literally all of the people I have interviewed (ok only ~15 so far) have said they moved here in search of connection to community. Yet, in some of the smaller projects they report feeling socially pressured to be everyone’s best friend and to engage in all the social activities. At least 50% of people interviewed so far said there was a lack of healthy boundaries. One extreme to the next, where is the balance? Some of the larger projects are intentionally bigger due to this with several different communities or neighborhoods within the project to foster social cohesion while also honoring the need for sovereignty, space, and boundaries. 

I could keep going but I promised you five examples so I will keep my word. In a bifurcated, binary world; where we are forced to break everything up into 1 and 0, yes and no, either or, black and white, red, and blue, I am constantly reminded how everything is on a spectrum. How can we see things in a more pluralistic way? Regenerative living does not have to be a tradeoff, in fact, nothing does when it is done right!

Where does this show up for you? How have you found balance? And when it tips one direction how do you get it back?

With Love from the Quest,

B and the boyz